Dealing With Conflict and
Difficult
People

Featured Article:

I'm sure you've dealt with individuals who have caused you to be so frustrated that afterwards you scratch your head asking "Am I crazy?"  Most likely you just had an encounter with a passive-aggressive person.  Such encounters may include sarcasm, shifting blame, saying one thing while meaning another to name a few.  For instance, I used to know a co-worker who was very skilled at giving back-handed compliments such as "You look great! You must be doing something different" as well as sarcasm disguised as a compliment "Oh, I hear you've managed to pull off another miracle."  The problem with these kinds of comments is that if you try to confront them about the insult, you will be accused of not understanding, "I didn't mean it that way" or of misinterpreting, "You must have a problem to think that.  I was just trying to compliment you.  Sorry I didn't word it right to suit you."  As a result, you end up looking like the bad guy, feeling frustrated, and asking yourself, "Am I crazy?"  And the other person walks away blameless. (Click to continue).

"...you usually know that you are the recipient of passive-aggressive behavior by your own emotional reaction.  If you feel frustrated, deflated, or crazy as a result of an interaction, it probably was passive-aggressive."

 

One rarely sees David and Susan more than a few feet from each other at work.  The thought of Susan increases David’s heart rate, while Susan’s thoughts do likewise every time David is near.  The way they look into one another’s eyes tells their co-workers, “You don’t really belong here.”  Even their boss feels a bit awkward when the heat between them borders on the inappropriate.

A passionate relationship beginning to bloom?  No.  David and Susan are two co-workers locked in what seems to be an incurable conflict at work.  Their situation illustrates how conflict can affect us at our job.  Conflict may not only take a toll on our physical body (as it did on David’s racing heart), but it often occupies our thoughts and causes us a great deal of emotional distress.  As we saw in the situation with David and Susan, conflictual behavior impacts not only those involved in the conflict, but also those who have no part in it.  As most of us spend approximately one-third of our adult lives in the workplace, conflict in this setting can’t be easily dismissed as unimportant.  In fact, failing to address such conflict may have implications for our “non-working” lives.  As a result, it becomes important for each of us to understand how conflict arises in the workplace, and what steps we can take to deal with such conflict. (Click to   continue).

"...most effective way ...is to use what is known as an “assertive” approach, rather than an aggressive or passive approach. Being assertive does require effort and practice, but most find it to be extremely helpful in addressing their needs. "

"To be betrayed, the person must first experience trust in the betrayer."

Betrayal is probably the most devastating loss a person can experience.  To be betrayed, the person must first experience trust in the betrayer.  It is fairly impossible for you to be betrayed if you did not trust the individual in the first place.  Therefore, the definition of betrayal involves the act of someone violating your trust in them.  The betrayal I am discussing in this article refers to a variety of forms of betrayal.  For instance, a child is betrayed when he or she is abused by the parents who are supposed to love, support, and protect the child.  A spouse is betrayed when their partner has an affair.  Betrayal is when someone you trust lies to you, cheats on you, abuses you, or hurts you by putting their own self-interest first.  (Click to continue.)

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